How easy it would be to just step into the void. To answer the call I have avoided since birth. I've felt it inside as long as I can remember. That bottomless abyss slowly stealing my mind away. Sometimes I forget why I fight it. I like to submerge myself and feel the current dragging me down. Always fighting my way out at the last second. The pull is so strong. The silence so intense. I walk the edge, torn between two tides. That ledge is razor sharp stripping away what will I have left. Would it truly be so bad to give in? Maybe that silence is exactly what I crave. It beckons me so sweetly.... but I know what it truly is. What I would become. My screams tear from my throat as I awake drenched in sweat. My body aches. My mind is on fire. Gods, it hurts. This battle never ends and I grow weary of it all. My honor is all I have left. The void calls and once more I turn away. The pain reminds me why I fight so desperately. What I seek is not there nor is it here. Lost, I wander aimlessly. Waiting for that spark, the will to wake up from the nightmares that haunt me. Or the push over the edge I dread so much. Which will come first? Only fate knows.
